Mathew Guiver

Nov 12

Is it nerdy that I am totally excited for the new muppets movie?
Needless to say, this new top 10 list that Miss Piggy did for OUT.com made me smile:


1. You can call me a diva—just don’t call me a ham.
2. Why, thank you, I have lost weight.
3. Pigs + frogs. Interspecies marriage. The time has come.
4. Thanks, but no Spanx.
5. No, I will not get you Anna’s autograph.
6. Thanks for teaching moi that I should never hold a grudge… I should act on one.
7. You’ve always known the way to this girl’s heart: truffles.
8. He’s skinny, wears a flashy neckpiece, and sings “Rainbow Connection.” But, for the last time, Kermie is secure in his froghood.
9. You’ve taught moi that I should never be rude. That’s what publicists are for.
10. Thank you for all the rides to anger management.



Love me some Miss Piggy. 

Is it nerdy that I am totally excited for the new muppets movie?

Needless to say, this new top 10 list that Miss Piggy did for OUT.com made me smile:

1. You can call me a diva—just don’t call me a ham.

2. Why, thank you, I have lost weight.

3. Pigs + frogs. Interspecies marriage. The time has come.

4. Thanks, but no Spanx.

5. No, I will not get you Anna’s autograph.

6. Thanks for teaching moi that I should never hold a grudge… I should act on one.

7. You’ve always known the way to this girl’s heart: truffles.

8. He’s skinny, wears a flashy neckpiece, and sings “Rainbow Connection.” But, for the last time, Kermie is secure in his froghood.

9. You’ve taught moi that I should never be rude. That’s what publicists are for.

10. Thank you for all the rides to anger management.

Love me some Miss Piggy. 

Nov 09

Why they call me a DT

In case you don’t know me very well, I will just come out and say it. All of my closest friends are lesbians. That’s not to say I don’t have friends that are gay and straight, male and female, mammal and fish, but my best friends have always been gay gals.

I don’t know why, but lesbians are consistently drawn to me, and I am often drawn to them. Part of me thinks the reason is because there is absolutely no sexual tension, or competition. Or it could be the fact that many lesbians have a hippy quality and love of animals and nature that I try to embody.

Either way, it is what it is. Case in point, the UPS delivery lady who makes the deliveries at the office I work at. I kid you not, yesterday we spent a good six minutes laughing and talking about her multifunctional pen. Get this: if you click one button it is a regular pen, but if you click another the ink part goes away and another thing comes out so you can use it to sign her electric signature device.

I think it pretty much goes without saying that I was amazed by it, and Donna (the name I am giving her until I work up the courage to find out her real name). 

After Donna left, a few coworkers asked me about her. Apparently she is usually short, and not very polite to anyone else. But not with me. Why, because I am a DT.

Oh ya, and before I get lost and forget the point of this post, a DT stands for “dyke tyke.” As a close ally of the lesbian community, I know that the D word is a sensitive word, so I prefer to say “DT.” It’s cute, and basically refers to a gay man who frequently befriends lesbians. A lez bro on the other hand refers to a straight man with many gay woman friends.

And now that you have been educated in gay culture, or at least the terminology that my friends and I have come up with, get back to work!

That’s right, over night I got a few followers and flew by the 500 count.
I know, I’m practically famous. No photos please!
But if you’re not following me on Twitter, then what the hell are you waiting for?

That’s right, over night I got a few followers and flew by the 500 count.

I know, I’m practically famous. No photos please!

But if you’re not following me on Twitter, then what the hell are you waiting for?

Nov 07

10+ Marketing Tips for your Google+ Brand or Business Page (via the e-storm blog)

My latest article for the e-storm international blog.

Ya that’s right, Google+ pages come out today and I’ve already written a kick ass article on strategy for businesses in the community? I know. I rock.

Earlier today Google announced Google+ pages, which means businesses can finally join the G+ community! These pages, which are similar in essence to Facebook pages are designed for businesses, brands, organizations, and any other group that wants to join.

Immediately after the announcement was made, the blogosphere went crazy. People have been asking about brands and businesses on G+ since even before the network officially launched. Personally, I couldn’t be happier. You might say that I am a bit of a G+ fan. I spoke about using G+ to improve the performance of your paid search campaigns at SMX East, and hell, I even dressed like a G+ circle for Halloween. Needless to say I have been waiting with bated breath for brand pages, and was excited to hear they had finally arrived.

As thousands of users rush to create Google+ pages for their brands, I thought it would be helpful to come up with a list of tips and suggestions. G+ pages are still new, and pretty much uncharted territory, however, with that in mind there are a few ways you can help maximize the impact of your efforts.

1. Don’t wait

Not all businesses can open a Google+ page today, but within the next few days pages should be open to all users. Like I said at SMX, you should be part of the future, not the past or present. By creating a G+ page for your brand now you can show the world that you are up to date on the latest marketing trends. Even if you’re not sure weather or not your target audience is active in Google+, I recommend creating a page. It does not have to be perfect, as you can always tweak and modify the page tomorrow or the next day.

Continued at e-storm.com…

I know this study is meant to show that people who follow a brand on Twitter are more likely to recommend the brand. However, I am confused by the 33% who said they were not more likely to recommend the brand.
It’s like, if you are not going to recommend the brand then why are you following them at all?

I know this study is meant to show that people who follow a brand on Twitter are more likely to recommend the brand. However, I am confused by the 33% who said they were not more likely to recommend the brand.

It’s like, if you are not going to recommend the brand then why are you following them at all?

I want one!
Can you imagine being able to get your heart rate up while you are working? 

I want one!

Can you imagine being able to get your heart rate up while you are working? 

Nov 04

Love it!
Credit: Kira Treibergs

Love it!

Credit: Kira Treibergs

Nov 03

Pretty much the story of my life…

Pretty much the story of my life…

This picture disgusts me.
This is not going to become a vegetarian or animal rights rant. Although, I am proud to say that I refuse to eat a meal that an innocent animal had to die for.
According to Daily Mail, the octopus tunics was designed by Roland Trettl, and I think he should seriously reconsider the project.
For those of you who are not familiar with octopodes (one of three plural forms of the word octopus), they are incredibly smart animals. Slightly less intelligent than apes and dolphins. Which makes me wonder, would anyone consider the piece fashion if instead of an octopus tunic the model was wearing a helmet made from a dolphin head?
Oh, and imagine how horrible that shit probably smells after being photographed under hot lights. Fuckin nasty.

This picture disgusts me.

This is not going to become a vegetarian or animal rights rant. Although, I am proud to say that I refuse to eat a meal that an innocent animal had to die for.

According to Daily Mail, the octopus tunics was designed by Roland Trettl, and I think he should seriously reconsider the project.

For those of you who are not familiar with octopodes (one of three plural forms of the word octopus), they are incredibly smart animals. Slightly less intelligent than apes and dolphins. Which makes me wonder, would anyone consider the piece fashion if instead of an octopus tunic the model was wearing a helmet made from a dolphin head?

Oh, and imagine how horrible that shit probably smells after being photographed under hot lights. Fuckin nasty.

So, now Google has officially announced they are showing paid search ads at the bottom of the search results, in addition to top and side.
I actually like having ads at the bottom. I think people are very aware that side ads are not the “natural, organic results.” I could see Google eventually getting rid of side ads all together. 
What do you think?

So, now Google has officially announced they are showing paid search ads at the bottom of the search results, in addition to top and side.

I actually like having ads at the bottom. I think people are very aware that side ads are not the “natural, organic results.” I could see Google eventually getting rid of side ads all together. 

What do you think?